just a simple me

凡事都必赢

2005-10-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

输了，会使敌人，变成朋友；赢了，会使朋友，变成敌人。我们要如何选择呢？好喜欢戴晟志的那一句“想输给雨算了，想输给风算了，凡事都必赢。。。。。”

post-exams syndrome

2005-10-17T02:44:00.000-07:00

i love this i love this! looks like some southern arabian woman indulging in the strawberry flavoured shisha smoke..it wasn't my idea...it was hers!
hmm,
as usual, we love doing extraordinary stuff together, something more impressive than usual...i thought it was cool to have that first try, but the way we inhaled that thing made us look less stunning ...
anyway, speaking of the feeling of it..well....i didn't know whether it tasted like cigarette smoke...i suppose it does...so i did not dare to inflate my whole pair of lungs with that thing. we were laughing all the way before we realized that our pharynx mucosa got itchier and dryer...*coughs* ehheh...grown-ups always get themselves rid of their virginity...i m talking in terms of a pair of virgin lungs...don't get me wrong...

pre-exams syndrome

2005-10-13T02:38:00.000-07:00

it is such a miserable experience to stay home and study twenty four hours 7 days a week.dying hard to cram every single facts into the brain..and cracking my own head to figure out all the why's why's....well.i would say that it's sort of a punishment for me.....its just a month course and i spent 3 weeks playing and busying with other stuff....
endocrine is too much to read if u really want to know single detail about the exact functions of each hormone and their related endocrinopathies..............no comment...really...no comment...*sigh*
and so i was reading up on the treatment for diabetes mellitus...and i would say that i did not really remember them ...sad to say..i was just.reading it for the sake of own satisfaction and lesser sense of guilt...coming to the end of the revision week...i took the notes out......read them again..and i realized something...."hey...that DOESNT sound so familiar????"

gonna miss u

2005-09-13T02:00:00.000-07:00

name: ricky chan sau woei
age:25
gender: male
occupation: optician
marrital status: single but unavailable
address: damansara utama
depature time: 2:00 am
depature date: 23th september 2005
destination: seoul, south korea

dont forget my gift!!!

2005-09-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

"the future is not ahead of u but lies within u" so i guess the preaching was right..worries are futile...regardless of worries for exams , for income, for future, for not knowing the answers...everything will come to its solution and answers when its the right time...

the sunway trip

2005-08-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

it was a monotonous saturday when i received a call from him, he invited me to hang around in the pyramid tower hotel because his family has came down to the city in sunway.

anyway, by the time we reached the hotel, it was already 8 pm.

the pyramid tower of sunway lagoon resort hotel is a 764 -room 4-star hotel. this hotel offers modern interior design and is a perfect example for the symbiosis of modern design and malaysian culture. just looking at the furnitures in the lobby, they are all carefully chosen tailored selection of furnishing material. one word to describe, colourful!! while indulging in the art of modernity, we also realize that the hotel is also a luxurious place with great room facilities which offers a romantic dining place. muahaha.....

dinner at the fishmarket
looking backwards, it has been quite a while we havent been having such luxurious dinner together long time ago.

the oysters are his all time favourite, i just love the way they serve the oyster with rich creamy sauce and bread,so darn fattening! though it was just an appertizer.....prior to the oysters, we shared a bowl of concentrated tomato soup which gives a combination of the taste of sweet, sour and salty sensation on my taste bud..i used to hate tomotoes..but somehow, it was not what i was expecting, it just taste good, so i couldn't complaint too much..heheh
my stomach is almost half-filled by the time the main dish came. arh, forget about the getting-on-diet-issue,i knew the food is gonna taste delicious anyway. a giant meal. for 2. a pan consists of a fillet and grilled shrimp accompanied with deep fried oysters and squids served on a bed of butter baked rice with fries and garnished with a slices of lemon and tomatoes. best part of it? juicy core of the fried oysters enveloping by crispy surface, and the rice, i want it more and more ..yummy....

wash it all down with a cup of ice lemon tea with peach flavour and went home after that wonderful dinner
........................................dinner is always wonderful with someone wonderful....................................................we kinda drank the cream imagine how much calorie we are putitng into our body .........
..............................................we ate up the fillet...that's why its not there...............................................

broken bullet vest

2005-08-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

see! its me wearing my bullet vest, i fit into the vest so well!!

phewh~~ i guess everything has been settled. the experience wasnt that bad afterall. its quite a good lesson to learn anyway.

went thru it,
see thru it.
see thrn how people cogitate, response and behave during a critical period

i coulnt admit that i regretted to make such impulsive and foolhardy decision without much considering the possible consequences. cuz i remembered someone told me that its wrong to felt regretful. was wondering why i m not someone who has inborn ablility to evaluate diffeculties in the undertakings.

and so, i paid my price.

he is tired of me being foolhardy and lacking thoroughness. it gave us misunderstandings and arguments. sometimes i wonder if he is someone like me or just the opposite. i can see him deep thinking aabout something thoroughly sometimes yet making the wrong decisions.....which made me wonder why and whether the thoughts were worth it....perhaps they did...

he is wise, he responded even before the incident happened, which made me felt secure with his presence around me, as protective as a bullet proof vest..LOL again, he was tired of me being over optimistic, i took things too easily and see them as simple as a piece white sheet of paper, as u can see, even the finest bullet proof vest can be worn out by neverending bullet shots, he was over exhausted. and i found the vest was not as protective as before because it was broken... and so..
we argued. the arguments were full of blames and guilts. blames to each other and guitly over something which we had done to each other.

somehow, the incident is settled......

and for now,i have to search for the finest thread to mend my broken bullet vest......which i cant live without it.....

2005-08-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

me me me!!!!

sorry for yourself

2005-08-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

remembered someone told me: never said sorry to others, its sorry to yourself cuz u r the one who bears all of the risks and responsibilities in every decision u made.

interviews and frustrations

2005-08-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

9.20 am US embassy
i was being refused a US visa due to illegal overstay in the US approximately 8 years ago. "sorry miss wong i couldnt approve your application today"the officer said. oh darn, that's what i didnt want to hear! tried to said something to make him hold back what he said but whatever i done was futile..
the feeling was bad.
really bad.
my facial tone relaxed.
then i stopped smiling.
it was such a waste of money for such a useless interview. the mood continues throughout the day........

4.00 pm
i knew i was going to be late for my second interview. frustration. over my own disorganization and poor management. my frustration took over my mind and became unaware of what i was doing for the whole period of time. i was looking for a cellphone which is in my own bag and searching for a parking ticket which i have already inserted into a machine at the exit. *sigh* i became angry at myself.....but just had to put the anger aside and carry on to my destination. i was suppose to meet woei before the interview appointment. called woei and found out that he was still in the restaurant. anger increases. at him. i knew it was unfair to him.
so, we had a cold argument in the car. indeed,it was really cold. tears almost rolled down the cheek but had to hold them back knowing that they are going to smear my make up. i knew today is not going to be a pleasant day for me.
and so..we finally reached the place at 4.45. tardiness is not the main issue now. frustration is. went up the wisma goldhill. interview did not turn out to be an interview but an agreement between me and the creative co. to join their grooming classes before they agree to take me up as their talent. i thought it turn out more to be like a business. but i really need some grooming classes. not for any other purposes but to improve my personal self image. so its alrite. i agreed. i knew at least another 400 is gone from my account for make up and stuff...*sigh*

9.00pm
real lucky to have a special screening of charlie and the chocolate factory tonight. the tickets were from a friend working in magazine company. the movie was the bestEST moment for the day. we enjoyed. for a short period of time, free of frustration and anger between us.

12.00 am
we had an argument. not a ferocious but a peaceful one. can u imagine a cold war with lotsa insults to each other? the combinations of words and letters from guns were more potent than any other combinations in the world. i m sorry

the haze

2005-08-13T03:01:00.000-07:00

the haze is gone..haze is nothing but just a component comprise of fives namely particulate matter, nitrogen dioxide,sulfur dioxide, carbon monoxide and ozone, *no carbon dioxide arh!!!* .in last 2 days, the API level has reached hazardous level, with the API reading of 4oo to 500+++ in selangor area, including petaling jaya (a place where i appear in day time) and shah alam (where my bed located ). The haze finally reached Perlis and Langkawi on Saturday after blowing to Penang and other parts of Kedah on Friday. API today in selangor is reduced..but its still unhealthy.

reference for API (air pollutant index)
0-50 good
51- 100 moderate
101-200 unhealthy
201-300 very unhealthy
301-500 hazardous

i would say some people woulnt want the haze to flock into other places away from us. they might own a surgical mask manufacturing factory. perhaps business remained still for the past 2 years after SARS.

its ironic, reflecting a doctor who is hoping more sickly patient to come into his sickroom. for them, its hard to stand in a line between a mind of a genuine humanitarian and a genuine business person. they were happy that money is flooding their pocket at the same time being sad that they were making use of the disaster to earn $$$.

but!! from other point of view, they are just a group of professions that try to rehabilitate the worsening conditions, hoping for more improvement at the same time, earning some money ......

my fear factor

2005-08-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

have u ever thought of what you are most afraid of? i m afraid of a lot of things..endless list---->

afraid of getting scolded
afraid of breakouts on my cheek
afraid of getting premature balding
afraid of being left alone
afraid of being criticized
afraid of failure
afraid of not being loved
afraid of losing money, love, and friends
afraid of not being good enough
afraid of disqualification
afraid of us being separated
afraid of getting raped
ultimately, afraid of death........

anyway, my fear factor list is generally neverending..at the end, found a test online...here's what it says--->

******Shiaowei, you are most afraid of not being good enough
Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about how others perceive you than many people around you? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about doing things perfectly or feel afraid that others will mock you in some way? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not being good enough. *phewhHhhHhh* ******

as a consice conclusion, i guess im just afraid of not being good enuf....

2005-08-13T00:43:00.000-07:00

It's him and me in the beginning, the term *us* started exactly one year ago. ^0^ its funny that a lot of ppl started asking me how the our story begin but i never thought it was an issue that i should volunteer to mention to everyone i met. if u r someone romantic, u will believe in love at first sight. that's exactly how our story started.......a neverending story that will continue throughout my life......